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Trauma narratives/punk rock

An excerpt from "Heart Berries" Terese Marie Mailhot's Afterword interview with Joan Naviyuk Kane

Q: I asked about why you wrote the book and you said, "One reason is there is so much criticism about the sentimentality of writing about trauma. Writing about it is irrefutably art but also does the work of saying something. Women (survivors sic) should be able to say this and say it however we want. There's so much pushback about how a child abuse narrative can't be art." Can you say more?

TMM: I know the book isn't simply an abuse narrative, but then it is. I was abused, and brilliant women are abused, often, and we write about it. People seem so resistant to let women write about these experiences, and they sometimes resent when the narrative sounds familiar. It's almost funny because, yeah - there's nothing new about what they do to us. We can write about it in new ways, but what value are we placing on newness? Familiarity is boring, but these fucking people - they keep hurting us in the same ways. It's putting the onus on us to tell it differently, spare people melodrama, explicative language, image, and make it new. I think, well, fuck that. I'll say how it happened to me, and by doing that maybe it can become new. I took the voice out of my head that said writing about abuse is too much, that people will think it's sentimental, or pulling at someone's pathos, unwilling to be art. By resisting the pushback, I was able to write more fully and, at times, less artfully about what happened. 

I remember my first creative writing professor in nonfiction asked his class not to write about abortions or car wrecks. I thought, You're going to know about my abortion in detail (if only ther had been a car crash that same day). I dont think there's anything wrong with exploring familiar themes in the human experience. When the individual gets up and tells her story, there's going to be a detail so real and vivid it places you there and you identify. I belive in the author's right to tell any story, and the closer it comes to a singular truth, the more art they render in the telling.

Q: Can you speak to the competing impulses of memoir being therapeutic at the expense of being imaginative or provocative/hurtful/critical?

TMM: Cathartic or therapeutic, those words are sometimes used to relate a feeling, like a sign of relief or release, but therapy is fucking hard. My therapists don't pity me, not the good ones; they made me strip myself of pandering, manipulations, presentation - they wanted the truth more desperately than I did, and then they wanted me to speak it - live it every moment. I feel like writing is that way. Writing can be hard therapy. You write, and then read it, revise your work to be cleaner, sharper, better, and then, when you have the best version of yourself (not rhetorically, but you've come close to playing the music you hear in your head_ - you give it time and re-read it - you go back to work - it seems endless. Nothing is ever communicated fully. The way being healed is never real unless every moment of every day you remind yourself of your progress and remind yourself not to go back, or hurt someone, or do the wrong thing - it's not healing unless you keep moving and you're never done. The work of "never done": therapy and writing.

 (It's no accident that the critique of "we've heard this before/it's too sentimental/it's too personal" is never leveled at the zillions of white men writing their zillion stories of their suburban repression,"generational family drama", addictions/divorces/affairs with students and etcetera? zzzzz The critique is leveled at women because women aren't supposed to be talking, or writing, period. This is the cultural, social REALITY of institutionalized sexism. And not only are women supposed to never talk, but women of color are supposed to not even have the thought to talk, and trans/lgbtq people are supposed to not even have the hope to think to talk. Aren't you bored with the stories of white men yet? You want to know how we survive, there's nothing more compelling, decolonize your library, decolonize your mind 

 

America! Look to New Orleans

If you need hope about America today, please do yourself a favor and read/listen to this powerful speech, written and delivered by New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu, on the removal of the Lost Cause Confederate monuments:

Watch video of the speech here

Click here for The Advocate's reporting, which includes the speech's transcript

I'm overjoyed that our Mayor is taking such clear and direct action in resistance to the tide of white supremacy that is experiencing a resurgence in our country. New Orleans IS a Sanctuary City, and this action, and his fiery words about it, set us up as the example that all American cities should follow: be true patriots, stand up to hate, stand up for a new narrative. 

And while I'm impressed by Mayor Landrieu's willingness to take this on, we must remember that it's black activists who made this real, who lead this effort - for decades, lifetimes. Most recently: Malcolm Suber, Angela Kinlaw and Michael Quess? Moore, and Chuck Perkins, all leading Take Em Down NOLA in this great effort. Our Mayor rose to the occasion that their sacrifices and tireless work created. They literally put their bodies on the line for it, devoted their lives to it by continuing the tradition of the fight for justice they inherited from great ancestors. It's powerful that Landrieu LISTENED and answered the call, and was willing to take the heat, especially given our current political reality, and the freshly stoked flames of white supremacy that threaten to burn us down. He's smart and right, and he's showing great leadership - that we truly can be a sanctuary city that leads America into a more just future. But we must honor and credit the real New Orleans citizens who made this happen - and that they are black - otherwise we perpetuate the same whitewashing of history that those monuments represent.

It feels incredible, driving by these empty pedestals. Charged, liminal - the energy has been snapped and the air is charged with hope. This isn't the solution, it's the action that makes solutions real. History isn't static - the history of the Confederacy ain't going anywhere anytime soon. There's a million markers to white supremacy in this country, and systemic institutionalized racism still runs our show. We know, though, that history is a construction - it is MADE, like a cake. It just so happens that TODAY, in this country that appears to be a gigantic dumpster fire, down here in New Orleans we are making a sweeter cake. And isn't that just like us? As the Mayor explains,

"So here is the essential truth: we are better together than we are apart ... isn't this the gift that we, the people of New Orleans, have given to the world? We radiate beauty! And grace. In our food, in our music, in our architecture, in our joy of life, in our celebration of death, in everything we do. We gave the world this funky thing called jazz, it's the most uniquely American art form that has developed across the ages, and from different cultures (coming together). Think about second lines, think about Mardi Gras, think about muffalatta, think about the Saints, think about gumbo, think about red beans and rice, by god, just think! All we hold dear is created by throwing everything in the pot, creating, producing something better, everything, EVERYTHING a product of our historic diversity. We are proof that out of many we are one, and better for it, out of many we are one - and we REALLY DO LOVE IT."

Another powerful quote:

"We cannot wait any longer, we NEED TO CHANGE, and we need to change NOW, no more waiting. This is not just about statues, this is about attitudes, and this is about behaviors as well. If we take down these statues and don't change to become a more open and inclusive society, then all of this would have been in vain," Mayor Mitch Landrieu, "NOW is the time to send a new message to the next generation of New Orleanians, a message about the future, let us not miss this opportunity, New Orleans, and LET US HELP THE REST OF AMERICA DO THE SAME, because now, see, NOW is the time for choosing."

These are the words of a man fighting for America, with an open heart and intelligence that can't be bought or sold. He is standing up for people, for our future, for children, and I love him for it. 

Here's a photo of me with him at a lecture on the arts at Lusher High School, I said, "Please be a part of my collection of selfies with handsome men!" 

Friends have spotted him at PJ's Coffehouse getting tea, at Langenstein's getting frozen pizza, and at parties holding court, casting a spell with his apparent gifts of oration. Yeah, boy. He's a true New Orleanian. And he is reinforcing what I've always said, New Orleans is the spiritual center of this country - our rituals, our literal living culture, not an abstract thing but how we live it on the daily, how we learn to accept loss, how we must accept that losing everything material - and even our lives - might be the cost of choosing to live here, our choice to live here in this dissolving, disappearing, sexy town. This place brings spiritual concepts into high relief - either you get them or you get spit out. I've buried a lot of people who couldn't handle this energy, I've grieved a lot of people who loved this city too much to leave it. I've carried the weight, I've borne witness to those who carry more than I ever will, I lost everything and came back, and do not want for a thing. If you go beneath the surface, New Orleans gives you exactly what you need. And she will turn on you, but ultimately you'll come to believe you needed that, too. So here we are. Look to us, America! We have got you now.

#neworleans #takeemdownnola #mayormitchlandrieu #resist #resistisaverb