The Wound Reaches/Reaching Centuries; triptych (30x30 ea); acrylic on canvas; ©EAU
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17/02/2024
US out of everywhere
I'm a jumble of dark and fiery thoughts and feelings. The monstrous horror of forcibly corralling 1.7 million people into what was supposed to be 'safe' Rafah - just to bomb them. The horrors of Israeli Occupation, of U.S. Imperialism, the bottomless supply of weapons and propaganda - the terror, the torture. To see this coming for so many years, not just since Oct 7, and not be able to stop it ... to feel my ancestors in this ... I'm gutted and deeply desolate.
This may seem unrelated, but I remember how it shattered me, how my mom punched me in the face, slammed me against a wall & coldly stated, "Nobody will ever love you." Over & over. It broke my brain, to be so betrayed. I couldn't understand, and trying to almost killed me. Trauma recovery work taught me I will never understand - we can't comprehend the incomprehensible - beyond the obvious - pure evil just IS. There's no way to understand or solve it & recovery has very little to do with that.
When we face the abyss, and that's what this is, all there is is surrender. This doesn't mean giving up! It means something more nuanced, complex, and ultimately empowering. Learning how to live with trauma means accepting it while knowing you will never understand it. That acceptance is NOT forgiveness - we do not have to forgive our oppressors. No, it means - I see, I see what they do, open eyed, I refuse to be silenced, and I find new ways to live. This is why most people refuse to even look, cuz seeing demands accountability.
We are witnessing incomprehensible trauma, and we must be accountable. We can be shattered, grief-stricken, furious, exhausted, numb, terrified. And we must keep learning, working, disrupting, reaching out to each other, listening to resistance leaders, connecting to community, and find ways to integrate these traumas. Our vision and hope for a liberated Palestine, Sudan, Yemen, First Peoples, earth - it must contain the truth of the horrors. I just mean, there is no way to this but through this. It's stunningly horrific, and we are shattered, and we will not stop. Onward
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#freepalestine #saverafah #endtheoccupation #usoutofeverywhere #morewillberevealed