LOVER

We can use social media as one measure of if people are still taking the pandemic seriously. Every post is of travel, school, parties, gyms, concerts, restaurants, art shows, work, events in crowded rooms & NOT ONE MASK. If you're still masking, this won't feel like an attack. If you're not and it does, ok. Instead of getting mad about me calling attention to the very real conditions that continue to force us disableds to forever quarantine, please get mad about the conditions forcing us to forever quarantine.

But C0v1d raging unchecked is doing a LOT more than endangering & isolating me - it's killing & disabling millions, many of them kids. Experts say by 2025, we'll be "drowning in a tsunami of disability". Is never wearing a mask again, and never being asked to care about or even be reminded of the nightmare that no C19 precautions creates, all that matters? Those of us who've adapted to the new reality of this endemic pandemic are ignored, shamed, mocked. While the general population happily clings to the corpse of "normal". Zzzzzzz. ADAPT! GOD IS CHANGE. 

I dream of (& work for) abolition for the world but systemic ableism, racism, misogyny & capitalism are just monsters, relentless, and rooted so deep, even the most magnetic movement workers & progressive organizers are sick with it. The only places I see it being manifested, fought & worked for are where people are *still masking*, joyously, consciously - where "accessibility" isn't a catch phrase but a genuine commitment. Can't have one without the other. 

You can't be a real ally in secret, that's not how it works, that changes nothing - in ourselves or our culture. Being brave enough to speak up in the face of injustice, to confront our flaws directly, is rare. Please name ONE non-disabled, non-chronically ill person (who's not one of our heroine dr scientists) fighting for my right to live, to be in public safely. I won't wait.

The new variants are vax resistant because we don't have max population equivalently vaxxed. Asymptomatic cases are 61% of cases. Repeat exposure disables & kills. It's NOT the flu - it triggers Long Covid, POTS, lung issues, diabetes, cancer, dementia, etc. Schools are shutting down, clinics closing, hospitals full, people are dropping sick at the US Open, but whyyyyeeee? Gov't won't say a damn thing cuz then they'd have to DO a damn thing. The gov't doesn't care about you, they really do not.

You can believe me. We can take this seriously, can do better. At the very least, people can start masking again, post pix of masking, destigmitize masking, get your kids masking, encourage it passionately. Because your community is being devastated, not just me. But me, too. And we're friends, yes? I care about me and you.

oknow

Here's what Covid did to me: pneumonia, Long Covid, 7 months of fever, nerve damage, brain damage, cognitive failure, high blood pressure, pre diabetes, thyroid/autoimmune disorder (Hashimotos), accelerated my ME/CFS (a crippling disability on its own), fibromyalgia (a crippling disability on its own), POTS (a crippling disability on its own), constant PAIN every single day, nausea, vision problems, devastating fatigue, muscle weakness, accelerated joint degradation/osteoarthritis, post-exertion malaise (a crippling component of ME/CFS), breast cancer (I have 0 genetic markers for cancer, 0 family history). It aged me 15 years, and yes, almost killed me, and still might. I used to run, now I can barely walk. I am chronically ill and permanently disabled. This is not a moral or intellectual failure, no "positive thinking" will cure this. 

If you see me upright, I AM A MIRACLE. I should never be able to be upright, much less work, garden, or do anything for pleasure. But I do. At less than half of what I used to, but I'm still here. It's not really about fighting, it's about surrender. I will not be getting better, please don't wish that for me! That's ableism. Love me AS IS. I'm learning how. I honestly don't think most people could endure this. You don't want to find out.