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31/05/2020
TOO MUCH DEATH/life
“We want freedom by any means necessary. We want justice by any means necessary. We want equality by any means necessary," Malcolm X
May 31 It's not just that cops have always been an arm of white supremacy, it's that they are MILITARY. Until police are demilitarized, they do not serve the people, they serve the President. Reagan & every Pres after him signed executive orders (GWBush responsible for a significant one that opened up floodgates of military weapons to local police throughout the country), Obama failed to reverse them (why? All it took was a signature), 45 expands them. This means that riot gear, tanks, military weapons, and tactics have poured into police departments for years - "military" is their context/culture - it weaponizes them, and conflict resolution training is dust. Some rogue cops, precincts, leaders may be good hearted, and I still advise sexual assault survivors to call police (to do so by it's very nature defies the power structure that creates rape culture, misogyny is factually the root of white supremacy and it wants us to shut up/have no power), but you have to let go of any delusion that their code is to serve & protect us, it simply isn't true. They serve & protect the system that creates/empowers them, period. Adjust expectations accordingly, fight from a place of grounded reality.
May 30 ARRESTS STILL HAVE NOT BEEN MADE! Please sign, chip in, amplify HERE. Breonna Taylor's senseless murder must be vindicated! There is no justice - that would be her free & alive - but we demand accountability.
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Bvlbancha collective is sending out herbal first aid to our relatives in "so-called Minneapolis", as well as with our allies in Extinction Rebellion, Nola.
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If you are protesting in "so-called Minneapolis" and are given our meds or see a street medic station with them, there will be a large label on the front of the bottle with ingredients, a smaller, round label with some important uses, and if at a station, there will be signage with ingredients and uses.
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If you are in Bvlbancha, ask XRNOLA representatives where their XR Rebel kitchen is located, or look for the XR rebel kitchen van! They will also have water, drinks and food for folx.
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We see you, we love you, we stand with you
✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽
***please note, a reminder that our labels of important uses are guides, & that plant relatives interact with bodies in a variety of ways! Not one size fits all***
Altar turned up in solidarity with all you fighters & lovers standing against white supremacy. Public protest is good work and catharis. Be safe, smart, loud - watch for kids & elders. And if yr white: you have a moral duty to 1. Stand BACK for black ppl, let them have the mic in every way, listen, let them lead, CENTER THEM, don't expect them to do anything for you and 2. Stand UP between black people and cops/any hostility. Do NOT escalate things with cops, do not endanger the leaders you are there to center. *You will need to stand back more than up - watch how it makes you feel, stay in the discomfort of not being centered, it is the most important thing, really - it might be why you are there at all - to be uncomfortable. It's a golden opportunity - be open to the small moments of intimacy, the ground of protest is sacred - hold space, make space, look at your people, connect, breathe -
Also it's my experience that the majority of hardcore movement workers are trauma survivors: watch your barometers, pause/leave if you need. The heat + masks + emotional vulnerability can really do a number on triggers - love your self. Don't go if you can't. It's ok to hold space for your embodiment - it's an extremely political act of resistance in and of itself.
I'm still very sick but am truly with you in spirit, and I'll be in the work come Monday, still. If you do this right, I'll see you in the ongoing work, too xox
*(also: pandemic! Wear a mask, sanitize, don't touch your face (a bandana is good to mop sweat), 6ft! And drop everything in the washer & jump in the shower as soon as you get home. Covid is real, love is realer xox
May 29 OMG NDN FAM, come thru with the powerful medicine! This may be the most alive and healing soup I've ever had. And your sexy garden veggies?! My gratitude is infinite. THANK YOU
May 28 I'm super sick. Have Covid symptoms, test results in 3-5 days. Have to hard quarantine. If I caught this ish, I will be SO MAD. I've been self quarantined since March, have only gone out for essentials & a few jobs. I'm SO vigilant about social distancing, masking, hand washing, sanitizing. I'm not like these fkkrs out here saying, "well I'm just walking my dog!" I mask every time I step out! Yes, I have under-lying conditions, yes, I'm immuno-compromised. So, THANKS. Well, even if it's not Covid, it sucks. But I'm blessed and brave and grateful for what I have, which is a whole helluva lotta fight * & amazing community, neighbors, friends! Y'all really mean the world to me xox Onward xox
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I'm seeing a lot of "well meaning whites" popping up on black threads with every version of "not all white people" reactivity ("we need to unite, it's the human race, etc"). Please! My kin! let black people do, think, say, envision whatever they need to endure the exhausting, traumatizing world of white supremacy. Centering yourself in the dialog, taking the mic/air/space, only perpetuates the thing you say you're against. Know this, notice, take responsibility, stop. Consider not saying anything at all about how oppressed people should achieve agency. Watch like a hawk for the ways privilege needles its way in. Being quiet - LISTENING WITH ACCOUNTABILITY - is one way to begin the work of deconstructing white supremacy - it's a small shift (tho apparently super hard?) that will have incredible impact on your work/intentions/spiritual & emotional growth. It may even be the core, foundational change needed to make any true allyship possible.
*this applies to red, brown, lgbtqia, survivors of sexual assault/misogyny/environmental injustice, the homeless, the poor, etc. Give us the mic, sit down, be humble. We know what we need, you are not the teacher, your ways keep us here, let us lead -
May 27
75 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice
Anti Racism Resources For White People
(still sick, getting Covid test tomorrow)
May 26
His name is George Floyd. And he was strangled to death by a white police officer in Minneapolis Monday night after pleading, “Please, please, please, I can’t breathe. Please, man.”
Mayor Jacob Frey apologized to the black community: “Being Black in America should not be a death sentence. For five minutes, we watched a white officer press his knee into a Black man’s neck. Five minutes. When you hear someone calling for help, you’re supposed to help. This officer failed in the most basic, human sense.”
This is what police brutality looks like. This is what institutional racism looks like. It has to stop now. Allies can take a stand for George Floyd and the countless black deaths by doing the work of anti-racism. Use this comprehensive resource created specifically for white people by Sarah Sophie Flicker and Alyssa Klein. Share widely with your families, houses of worship, schools, communities, everywhere. Now.
ANTI-RACIST RESOURCES: https://bit.ly/2yExvU4 [image description: photo of George Floyd with a brick background] #ICantBreath #GeorgeFloyd #BlackLivesMatter #SeeNoStranger
May 25 Chris Cooper, Karen Vaccine 💗🌟💗 HE IS IMMUNE TO YOUR BULLSHIT, KAREN! he's 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 BIRDER 👏🏼 🐦
Whiteness is so deeply, systemically centered in all things that when its centeredness is barely nudged, it screams. Tears, tantrums, threats, presumed innocence, calls for "authority" - make no mistake, it's all the defensiveness of privilege, weapons designed to protect and perpetuate white supremacy. She enacts the trauma then is so gutted by the exposure of her complicity that she never has to own it, pay any real consequences, do the work of amends, much less actual reparations. White fragility protects white supremacy. How tough are you? We have so much work to do. (This absolutely applies to misogyny, too - racism's foundational mooring.) Take action. It's easier than you think, once you accept the work as a moral responsibility. This is the battle of our life. Choose your side of history.
May 21 Nausea, fever, so unlike me (pigeons are doves and bring peace)
Flock of sparrows lit up the tree above my head, sweet cacophony telling me, "look up! Look up!"
May 20 "We can rest assured the political and social actors that helped pave the way for SARS-CoV-2 to become a pandemic will not allow their world to be transformed against their will without a fight," Roberto Barrios
May 18 I'm unwell. Sunk into depression and grief. The hits keep coming. I don't have energy. I think some of my hope that has carried me all these years was contingent on believing that people are better than it seemed, that we could always be moved to do the right thing, if I worked hard enough, if I supported the organizers, just kept showing up. Now? I don't think people in general can or will do the right thing, especially if it's hard.
This is physical and existential crisis. It's not like I was naive, ever. I carry ancestral and direct trauma. I've endured incredible hardship, my entire community has. I've worked for justice my whole life, in big and small ways. I've never lost faith, even in my darkest caves. This is different than some naif waking up to injustice. This is embodied injustice. I won't stop working, though I honestly think it will only get worse, that things only get harder for people it was already hard for, infinity. We will never break the wheel, because not enough of us are united in working against it. It's just math. I look around and see an impossible math of the dream of equity and freedom, today in this environment. The math just isn't in our favor.
Now I've been directly told that the odds have been stacked against me since day one, and how strong I am, and how I've broken deep inherited chains, but that's not how it feels. It feels like all I've ever done is carry the weight - sometimes more lightheartedly, but always - weight.
This disillusionment feels so deep, a disappointment so heartbreaking, on top of a lot of personal struggle, poverty, loneliness, loss - it's like my inside's turned to ash. On top of it, I feel incredibly isolated - for my safety, for yours, and also just by nature of having no family, no lover, nobody really truly in this with me. Don't get me wrong, friends! I know I'm loved, I know I'm not alone in feeling so bereft and alone. It's just, well, I'm alone *I KNOW it's much worse for many more people than me, I know the ways I'm blessed. It's that I don't feel like anything I ever did or will do can make a difference in the ocean of suffering. It's the feeling of the ocean being so big. I know there's relief in articulation, and I speak out here for connection. So I guess hope still lives? This is the math of that
Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
You owe me.
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.
— Hafiz
I thought I was in heaven but I was only dreamin
May 17 TRUTH. Mind/body dualism & all binaries that favor one by demonizing the other (male/female), are a construction created by white male colonizers in order to get and hold power. Make no mistake, the more we sand away at systemic hierarchies, the closer we get to our true nature: nature, connected, inter-connected, a web, all - but it comes with real trauma. If you're not "on" earth but "of" earth, you experience the attacks on it, the suffering, the injustice to your core. Nobody feels this more than indigenous, it's a lived embodied truth. You wouldn't idealize indigenous ancestry if you truly knew the trauma it brings. Our endurance of it enables your romanticization of us. You just don't have this strength.
May 16 It's going to be many days of recovery for my baby, it's a true blessing that I'm able. And it's mystical how what she needs most from me right now is what she was trained to give me all these years: grounding, centering, soothing, guiding to safety, joy. It's an honor. She is holy, the surrender and gratitude are god's grace right here in this room xox
May 14 Had to rush Rosa to emergency vet. Brain inflammation causing stroke-like vertigo. Fairly common in elder dogs, vet says most rebound, she'll stay in the hospital a few days. Praying for her to not suffer. Rosa is TRULY THE BEST DOG. A service dog who has literally saved my life many times. We've traveled the country, she's taught me how to be in my body, how to heal trauma. My constant companion for 13years. Please pray for her to not suffer, to feel love, to not be afraid xox she CAN bounce back from this, if it's meant to be. I do want more time with her, and yes, pray for that, but ultimately I pray for her to not suffer. She's getting the best care SANTA ROSARITA DEL OSA, my St Rose of the She Bear xox (Rosa is a registered service dog and has gone everywhere with me for 14yrs. Being on top of me is part of her medicine. I've come so far since she came to me. Now I get to be her medicine. She is the deepest blessing of my life
May 13 Andrea Circle Bear was the first federally incarcerated woman to die from COVID-19. She was serving a 2-year sentence and died 28 days after giving birth. Her tragic death could've been avoided. The Emergency Community Supervision Act requires the release of those most vulnerable to the deadly virus -- including pregnant individuals like Andrea. We must urge Congress to support this bill in the next relief package before more lives are lost -- in prisons and in our broader community. Send a message to your representative today
The "pres" is scared to wear a real mask cuz he'd have to take off the figurative one he's been hiding behind his whole life. Being so afraid to be vulnerable, risking so many lives in the process, is weakness at its strongest #toxicmasculinity #genderroles Reading: For The Love Of Men, Liz Plank
"Where does it all lead? What will become of us? These were our young questions, and young answers were revealed. It leads to eachother. We become ourselves," Patti Smith
May 12 some great content Care Packages from awesome creators, free via dropbox. Coloring, comics, puzzles - ROXANE GAY MADE ONE 🌸💗🌸CONTENT CARE PKGS
May 11 Tribal Citizens Defend Coronavirus Checkpoints Amid Threats From The State How long you think til the State shows up with guns & hoses & handcuffs?
Prison Labor Replaces Striking Garbage Workers in New Orleans “They aren’t trying to hear us,” says Woods. “They don’t care about us; they would let anything happen. If we were to get sick, they don’t care if we spread the disease. They just don’t care”. Contact Metro Disposal and New Orleans city officials and let them know how you feel about inmates being forced to cross picket lines to fulfill city service contracts (without PPE), and that our sanitation workers deserve better:
Metro Service Group at (504) 520-8331
Mayor Cantrell (504)-658-4900
City Council Members:
Joseph Giarrusso 504-658-1010
Helena Moreno 504-658-1060
Jason Williams 504-658-1070
The murders aren't aberrations, they are the status quo. Where is her uproar? #blacklivesmatter
May 9 For the record, I'm maintaining my Strict 1 "stay at home except for essentials/etc" policy while we remain in the throes of this extremely contagious viral pandemic. BE SMART, BE STRONG, BE YOUR OWN LEADER (who thinks of others lives as being as important as your own) #staysafe #maskup
May 8 Walked 2.3miles for Ahmaud Arbery today, don't know what to say that doesn't feel meaningless in the face of such monumental injustice, just gonna keep showing up xox (honestly I'm uncomfortable posting this, I don't want attention & don't deserve kudos - but I do want to amplify Ahmaud and call out the injustice of white supremacy. This is a very small thing, but I find solace and strength in the power of small things xox #RunWithAhmaud #RunWithMaud #BlackLivesMatter (this was just a symbolic gesture, not the beginning and far from the end of my ongoing anti-racist work. I risk very little by walking in a park - as a rape/multiple assault survivor/woman I do understand threat - but as a passing white woman, real privilege protects me. I know this. I work to own it. I'm working. Just needed to be out here in solidarity xox
You know they're appealing the Supreme Court to overturn the Affordable Care Act during a pandemic (May 31, it's 100,000+ deaths now -
May 7 The murderers have been arrested & charged. There can never be real justice (justice would be for every victim to be alive), but I pray there will be some semblance of accountability. PUBLIC OUTCRY WORKS. Don't ever stop speaking truth to power, ever.
May 6 I can say his name. AHMAUD ARBERY. The heart breaks over and over and over. There is no justice for black people in this world. I dont even know if I have hope anymore that a new world can be made. But I will keep working. In his honor, and in my ancestor's forgotten names 💔Let's remember Mr. Arbery was murdered 2 months ago, and it took a viral video and public outcry for his case to be revisited. His murderers are STILL free. Yt ppl, here's something we can do to join the voices crying for justice. White people need to speak/act out against racism and white supremacy or this will never change
#blacklivesmatter #SilenceIsComplicity
23/05/2020
dream weaver
Was compelled to make latke, pretty bugged about it too lol, now sitting down to eat with windows open & rain, omg the deep flavors & feelings! Just clanging a bell in my chest for my mother, Russian, her mother, Russian, all my mother's mothers, Russian, and childhood in Michigan twilight woods at the big table on the screened in porch, sitting down to eat, the music of it coursing, when they were still alive and I still had family xox cooking is dream work. Dream work is life xox