LOVER

Now you too can enjoy the deliciously mournful sounds of The Black Bonnets!

Listen: Black Bonnets: Withered and Died

woman in the best sense

"The band started out the set aware of d.b.a.'s stuffiness, but I eventually saw them smiling and joking around. This had a lot to do with one girl. She was the sparkplug in the "cooler than thou, can't really show my emotions cause then I would be uncool" indie crowd. I think she "woooooed" herself out, and when she yelled that the band rocked, the drummer said, "No, you guys rock!" Then, I thought to myself, "Yes, I do rock," and then I felt all warm and fuzzy inside." excerpt of review of Rotary Downs gig in May.

Glad to know some people still see me as a girl.

Pixies: Hey

EVERYONE ELSE HAS WHAT THEY HAVE AND WHAT I HAVE: SONGS.

PUNCHING BAG

You're lookin worn out and weary
Didn't know your life could be so dreary
Day after day after day

There once was a time
When you floated amongst the divine
The best laid of man gone astray

Now it's hard to begin to know just where you fit in
When you're the punching bag for the backlash
Your status and shine turn to ash
The height of your esteem finally led to your crash
When you're the punching bag for the backlash

How could your life come to this
One interminable kiss
On the ass of the beast you abhor
Foiled plans never made now your affairs carefully displayed
For all who would care to ignore

Now it's hard to begin to know
Just what was your sin
When you're the punching bag for the backlash
Your status and shine turn to ash
The height of your esteem led to your crash
Now you're the punching bag for the backlash

And it's hard to begin to know just where you fit in
When you're the punching bag for the backlash

(Andrew Donaldson c/o The Black Bonnets)

silver moon sail up silver moon shine

I fell in love with the Barbe Milk cow this morning. Why can't I find a picture of him online? Am I the only one?

rock n roll girl

well I'll tell y'all why I did it and how it didn't make the world a better place but it made me a better woman in it. Like this one time

when I watch what people do to eachother

all I wanna do is have a banana split at Sander's Ice Cream shop in Detroit but back in 1975 when the damn place was still open and downtown Detroit was intoxicatingly urban and I was pulsating with everything possible and rare. On that note:

I bowled this weekend. My bowling name was Evie Sweets. I did pretty good. I'd love to make a regular thing of it. The West Bank rules on a Saturday afternoon, even with no a/c in the car.

Happy Talk's set at d.b.a. last night really did save my soul. It's good to watch a band grow, to have participated in that process - I love devotion. I love loyalty. I guess I was an abandoned kid. Funny how what's important to us can reveal our wounds.

I just wrote Dog about how performing can teach so much about mortality/ownership/ego. How it can (and this is the more common route) exacerbate/stimulate fantasies of immortality, ownership, & delusions of grandeur - but on the flip-side it can offer a golden opportunity to transcend that, look at it, physically let it go, and grow. You can get there singing songs about tricycles, you can get there singing songs about surviving rape. The thing is: the transience/impermanence of live performance, the essential absurdity of it all, is the best psychotherapy going. Plus it feels good. So there.

TACO BELL

#1 I did not toast that FUCKER when he tried
#2 Slow dancing with Srjdan
#3 Any dancing with Anna
#4 What? Did you think I was some kind of toy?
#5 Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
#6 Suzie's standing on the corner with the coroner's bag wrapped around her shoulders yeah
#7 So I was right (BIG surprise)
#8 Decide what you want
#9 I don't care what the people think (I would much rather be essentially confrontational than a frickin' whore)
#10 Don't blame me, I voted Democratic
#11 Zach drove down from Mississippi
#12 I've got "the scoop"
#13 Air conditioning
#14 He is so glad/I don't pretend!
#15 Cab home (I knew it would happen this way)
#16 What. Ever. Her band SUCKS.
#17 again: ha ha ha ha ha: the joke's on???
#18 See #7: good thing is is I love taxi cabs
#19 People who ask advice are "popular" (per Cosmo Magazine) (think about that)

just wait

Nothing like a good solid non-alchoholic night's sleep, dense with rotten rotten dreams and pet hugging, to make Saturday morning 7:30 a.m. purely ________. I can't decide: yea or nay. Tonight I'll sleep with alcohol and compare & contrast. I'm an anthropologist. You're a foreign locale. The article will be published in a first-rate college journal and will bring me much egotistical gratification.

Today is the day of the big excursion: have you ever been this excited about Home Depot? The possibility of bowling and/or Vietnamese food is making me tingle.

Had a good talk w/Herman my boss (I am SO LUCKY I don't have to work for idiots) yest that was very illuminating. He talked about me. I learned alot. He also said something that made me bend over in hysterics as soon as he left the room. Quiet hysterics - you know the kind where you silently seize up & grab your belly, face contorted, small gusts of spittle shooting from your pursed lips and/or flared nostrils? That kind.

I like the two plates in this pic. Says alot to me about alot. That's Christine's birthday cake. The melting letters sent us over the moon. She's so much fun to give to. A delight, a strong pleasure. I'll drink my morning espresso in her honor. I know she'll be thrilled.

So at your age are you happy with what you've done with your life? Do you feel you've got a good handle on who you are and why? Are you ok w/the slipping away? Is it a T.S. Eliot or Dalai Lama day?

One Another's Shoulders

The silliest things make us laugh; it's a little gang of nerdy kids who meet in the "clubhouse" to decide who they're gonna play a prank on that week: dues are 10 cents that go to? Guitar strings? Ice cream? Gin!!

Let it be known: Andrew Donaldson makes the best drinks and I would kill for him. Bloody graphic killing with a blunt instrument. He shares his songs with me, he trusts me, he snorts through his nose and waves his hand when anyone dares to insult me. How is it he played drums in Dru Wilbur's band while Dru was sending love letters to me in Philadelphia, long before I even knew Andy existed? Let's not even talk about the things we've survived ... why did I end up in New Orleans?

So we finished the corrections to the Black Bonnets mix and now it's onto the next stage ...

GIMME SOME

There's a gigantic pile of shiny black garbage bags stuffed with chopped up bamboo back here that I've gotta drag out to the curb. I'm obsessed with the way they look. I've been photographing them for a 1/2 hour. The yard smells like desire. I'm on this side of the camera.
I fell down laughing last night. I also had a seizure of rigourous crying. It's "the old swing swang" of summer in New Orleans. When I was a kid was emotion like this? I spent hours running with my soccer ball and I still couldn't sleep at night.
It's twilight. It's time to go.